


Cousin Trap

by kiarcheo



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr, F/F, Fluff, Good Cousin Anne Boleyn, In a way, Parrward, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28571097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiarcheo/pseuds/kiarcheo
Summary: Anne Boleyn and Catalina Aragon have a lot of things in common. Among those, they are both smart, accomplished women, they both dated the same man, Henry Tudor, and they absolutely loathe each other. These are all things they are both aware of. But there is another matter that connects them and that they don’t know anything about: they both love to death their younger cousins....and said cousins are dating.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Catherine of Aragon & Catherine Parr, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Comments: 18
Kudos: 64





	Cousin Trap

Anne Boleyn and Catalina Aragon have a lot of things in common. Among those, they are both smart, accomplished women, they both dated the same man, Henry Tudor, and they absolutely loathe each other. These are all things they are both aware of. But there is another matter that connects them and that they don’t know anything about: they both love to death their younger cousins....and said cousins are dating.

For months Katherine Howard and Catherine Parr had been unaware of the fact themselves.

How was Cathy supposed to even start to suspect that the Annie her girlfriend always talked about with nothing but pure love was ‘that Boleyn girl’ - and yes, she hears it in her mind in the same tone Catalina usually spits it out?

How was Kat supposed to connect Cathy’s Lina, the cousin who used to teach her Spanish swearwords when she was a kid and is now almost a maternal figure to her, with ‘Catherine, that massive *insert chosen insult of the day*’ Anne still complains about, even if it has been years since they have last seen each other?

‘And you know, it’s funny. Because her surname is literally Aragon and she is from there.’

Kat abruptly stops laughing along with Cathy. ‘Aragon? Your...Lina is Catherine Aragon?’

‘Catalina.’ Cathy corrects her. ‘It annoys her when people use the English version. That’s not her name.’ She stops. She heard it so many times that she could repeat Lina’s spiel word by word, but that’s probably not the point. ‘But yes? Why?’

‘Annie. My cousin,’ Cathy nods to show she is following. Of course she knows who Annie is. She met her. Scarily smart and scarily funny, once you get over her being scarily protective of Kat. Not that Cathy faults her for it. ‘Anne Boleyn.’

‘What?’

‘My cousin is Anne Boleyn.’ Kat repeats, much to Cathy’s horror, who had been hoping she had misunderstood.

\---

‘So, let me see if I got it right.’ Anna looks at her two friends. ‘Your cousins, the ones who are basically your big sisters slash mother figures and would totally kill for you, hate each other.’

Cathy and Kat nod.

‘And they don’t know you are dating? Even if you have been together for…what is it? Four years?’

‘Yes.’

‘How is that even possible?’ That’s the part Anna is most confused about.

‘Well, they never met.’

‘Yes, but they met you!’ Anna gestures to them. She remembers Kat stressing out about meeting Cathy’s Lina for the first time, worrying that she would not make a good impression on someone who was so important for her girlfriend. And she also remembers Cathy telling her about her meeting with Anne and the shovel talk she got. Hell, Anna has met Anne herself!

‘Yes. And they know about Annie and Lina.’

‘Not about that Boleyn girl and Catherine Aragon.’ Cathy picks up Kat's explanation.

‘What about photos?’ Just from her armchair Anna can see at least four pictures on the shelves with Anne and Kat, Cathy and Catalina, and even one of both her friends with Anne.

‘We hide them.’ That had not been a problem until they had moved in together, but once they took that step and they had their first visit...that’s what they did.

‘And you don’t plan to tell them?’

‘Nope.’

‘How is this even going to work? Won't they meet at a certain point?’

‘We alternate for the holidays and stuff. One time at Lina’s, one at Anne’s. Or with them, anyway. No reason for them to meet.’

‘So what? You’re going to wait until your wedding day and have them see each other there?’

‘We discussed it and we feel no need to get married, so...’

Anna shakes her head. Unbelievable.

\---

‘You!’ A twin exclamation. Had their hands not been loaded with bags, they would have totally pointed the finger at each other.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘What are _you_ doing here?

‘I asked first.’

If Anne wants to do this in the middle of the street, Catalina will not back down. ‘Visiting family, not that you’d know anything about that.’

Anne ignores the low blow. Her fraught relationship with her family has always been a sore spot, and Catalina knows it very well.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ Catalina stops her from ringing the bell, covering it with her hand.

‘Old age getting to you?’ Anne hits back, Catalina’s age – specifically her being older than Henry and consequently also than Anne – being one of the excuses he had used to dump her for Anne. ‘What do you think?’ before adding, ‘Hoping to be saved from having to breath the same air as you for much longer.’

‘You got the wrong house.’

‘And how do you know that?’

‘This is where I’m going.’

‘Impossible. This is where _I_ am going.’

’My cousin lives here.’

_‘My_ cousin lives here.’

They glare at each other.

‘Let’s settle it.’ Anne rings the doorbell.

‘Eager to be proven wrong, aren’t you?’ Catalina scoffs. ‘Let's hear it. What would your cousin’s name be?’

‘What’s yours?’

They stare at each other silently as if challenging the other to speak first. Tension builds as the standoff continues.

‘Catherine.’

‘Katherine.’

They say at the same time, then stiffen. Is it all a big joke for the other? Is she taking the mick? They look ready to attack when they have a light-bulb moment. Realisation dawns.

‘No!’

‘Sorry, it took me so long, I’m not feeling my best-’ the door opens fully, ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Oh querida,’ Catalina breaths out. Cathy looks...rough. ‘Let me in, don’t stand there in the cold.’ She gently pushes her way in, ignoring how Anne follows her and focusing on Cathy. ‘Have you been to the doctor? Have you been eating? Let me whip up something for you.’ She doesn’t really wait for a reply, moving towards the living room, Cathy trailing behind her wordlessly, shocked and exhausted. ‘How is Kat?’

Right then a scratchy voice calls out. ‘Cathy?’

That seems to jolt Anne out of whatever trance she was in. In three quick steps she is by Catalina’s side and trying to enter the room first.

‘Who was at the door?’ The question is barely finished when the coughing starts, the cocoon on the couch from where the voice came from convulsing. Then a pale face with flushed cheeks from the effort emerges.

‘Katie!’ Anne is immediately by her side.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘That seems to be the question of the hour.’ Catalina mutters while watching, almost captivated, Anne taking Kat’s face in her hands, tilting it up, and resting her cheek on her forehead. ‘Still got a fever. Have you been throwing up? Have you taken anything? Do you want me to run to the pharmacy? Cathy, you need anything?’

‘Annie.’ Kat blinks up at her. ‘Slow down.’

‘Right. Sorry.’ Anne sits back on her haunches.

Cathy joins Kat on the couch, Kat wordlessly lifting the blanket and wrapping Cathy in.

‘That would look adorable if you both didn’t look so terrible.’

‘I haven’t looked at a mirror in forever, but if I look half as bad as I feel...I have no doubts.’ Kat comments.

‘Why are you here?’ Cathy is too tired and sick to care about politeness. Besides, that’s the good thing about close family, isn’t it? No need to sugar-coat and maintain a polite façade when you feel like crap.

‘You call, telling me that you’re both violently sick and you expect what? For me to just stay home knowing there is no one to help you here because all your friends left for the break and you’re in no state to help each other?’

‘As much as I hate to agree with her,’ Anne reaches up to brush some hair away from Kat’s clammy face. ‘You know I’d drop anything if you needed me. And in this case, I already had the days off anyway...’

‘You’re going to get sick too.’

Anne smiles at her cousin’s thoughtfulness. ‘That’s a risk I’m willing to run.’

Catalina clearly agrees, as she puts on the kettle and puts together some light sandwiches after Cathy mentions it’s time for them to take their medicines.

As they are all sitting down having tea, Anne broaches the subject. ‘When were you thinking of telling me about...her?’ She sends a dirty look towards Catalina, who doesn’t hesitate to return it.

Still, they don’t miss the look Cathy and Kat exchange. And the silence is telling enough.

‘So, what? What was the plan? Wait until your wedding day for me to see her showing up at the reception?’

‘I will totally walk Kat down the aisle or whatever they decide to do.’

‘Marriage is not really in the plans, so...not really?’ Cathy says at the same time.

Anne turns to her, hard look in her eyes. ‘Why not? Kat not good enough for you?’

‘Because we talked about it and marriage is not a thing we see in our future.’ Kat stops her before she can get riled up on her behalf…absolutely unnecessarily.

Anne gives a begrudging nod. Overprotectiveness aside, it's not completely surprising considering their family’s history. Still, they will be revisiting the topic, once Kat is better.

‘Don’t get me wrong,’ Cathy hesitantly starts after they had been sitting for a while, ‘I’m not kicking you out or anything. You can stay as long as you want. Both of you. But before we get too dozy from the medicine...where are you staying?’ They have learned the hard way that what they are taking hit them both quite strongly. They found stuff in weird places they didn’t remember having put them in. Which is way better that waking up on the bathroom floor, presumably after one of them threw up but without remembering who was the one who got sick, bodies hurting even more from sleeping in a weird position on a cold, hard floor.

‘Here?’ Anne and Catalina look at each other as they say the same thing at the same time. They narrow their eyes in challenge.

‘You know we’re always happy to have you here,’ both had stayed over before, ‘but do you remember that there is just one guest room, right?’

‘She can sleep on the couch.’ Anne beats Catalina to the punch.

‘You can sleep on the couch!’ Catalina rebuts.

‘Why? Your old back can’t take it?’ Anne snipes. ‘If you admit so, I might be generous enough to leave you the bed.’

Kat’s coughing fit, albeit involuntarily, comes at the perfect moment.

‘Actually,’ Cathy takes advantage of the interruption as she rubs Kat's back, ‘you can’t use the couch, I’m afraid.’ She grimaces, whether it is because of what she is saying or because her girlfriend is currently trying to hack up a lung not clear. ‘If one of us is up at night, to avoid waking the other, we move out here. But if one of you is sleeping here...’

‘Of course.’ ‘You don’t have to apologise.’ Both women reassure her.

‘So either one of you stays and the other stays at a hotel-’

‘Her.’

‘Not me.’

They glare at each other.

‘Or you can share the room. It’s a queen size bed, as you know.’

\---

‘Cathy?’

They had retired to their room, medicine having its predicted effect, leaving the older women to settle down in the guest room. And probably take over the house and everything else, if their bickering about groceries and cleaning is any indication.

‘We don’t really use the couch.’ Kat points out. They are out cold at night, the power of drugs. So far they have only woke up for coughing fits or to throw up… which tends to wake the other, and they would not have it any other way. And at that point they prefer to stay together, cuddling in bed and waiting for sleep to come...they are both sick anyway, not like it can get any worse.

‘I know.’

‘Then why?’ Kat looks adorably confused in her drowsiness.

‘So they’ll be forced to get along.’

‘Or kill each other.’

‘But that would make us sad, and they know it, so they won’t.’

Kat nods. That sounds reasonable. Then she squints at Cathy. ‘Are you...cousin trapping them? You know, like The Parent Trap movie but with cousin because they are our cousins?’

Cathy smiles dopily at the over explanation. Kat tends to ramble when she is tired.

‘Or trope-ing them.’

‘What?’

‘You know, there was only one bed. Or,’ Kat’s scrunched up face lets her know she is not following her, so Cathy continues, ‘and they were roommates.’

The response is automatic, no need to even engage the brain. ‘Oh my God! They were roommates!’


End file.
